On 3/20/2021 the Lord gave me a vision of a man trying to crack a nut by putting it into an indentation on the ground and hitting it with something. While I watched this occur, the phrase “A HARD NUT TO CRACK” rose up in my spirit. End of vision.
So the next morning I looked up the phrase “a hard nut to crack”. It means either a problem that is very difficult to solve. Or, it can mean someone who is difficult to understand or get close to or get to know.
I knew immediately that the Lord wanted me to write about the time that I was challenged by a new boss at work, who I will call Peggy (not her real name). I think the best way to describe her would be to say that she reminded me of the Lilith Sternin character on the TV show Cheers, played by actress Bebe Neuwirth. Peggy, like Lilith, did not show very much emotion, seldom smiled and had an almost cold demeanor. She was all business all of the time. She was quick to criticize and slow to encourage. She had an edge to her and when she spoke to others, it was a bit harsh. Immediately I felt an almost palpable tension in the air between us.
One day she called me into her office to give her an update on my current projects. She had also invited another manager, who I will call Tina (not her real name) to join us. Now Tina, who was actually hired at the same time as I was, had just been promoted to her new managerial position. So in my mind Tina was actually my peer, even though she was now technically a manager.
So there I was presenting my status report to them. At one point I happened to glance up midsentence and I caught Peggy doing an eye roll over my statement to Tina. I tried my best to not react, but honestly it hurt a lot. So not only was Peggy expressing her disapproval of me, but she was also broadcasting it to someone who I considered a peer.
Then the day came for my annual review. So Peggy and I met in a conference room to go over my evaluation. She gave me high marks on my actual work but when it came to my social skills, well let’s just say she saw areas that needed improvement. Then she started listing all my deficiencies.
When she finally stopped to take a breath, I said “You know this all sounds very personal. I get the feeling that you just don’t like me very much.” Then I couldn’t help it – I started crying. She said “I feel exactly the same way.” Then the most amazing thing happened – she started crying too!
Whoa!
I just couldn’t believe it. My stoic boss was actually crying big crocodile tears right in front of me. So we both sat there bawling our eyes out for a few minutes.
Suddenly the emotional wall between us came crashing down and we had a heart to heart talk. For the first time, I saw her as a person who actually cared about me and the other employees, but she just did not know how to show it. She even confided that she really did want only the best for me and I believed her. Maybe, just maybe, I had misjudged her and she had misjudged me.
I wish I could tell you that from that day forward Peggy became caring and empathetic. But no, that did not happen. The very next day she reverted back to the way she had always been. But, something very important did happen – not to her, but to me. My heart changed towards her and the whole situation.
The next day when she spoke harshly to me, I remembered her big crocodile tears. I remembered that she was really a soft touch on the inside. Suddenly her words didn’t hurt me anymore. So instead of taking her comment personally, I just smiled at her.
From that point on, our relationship improved drastically. And all that palpable tension in the air dissipated. She even promoted me. So here I thought Peggy was the problem, but it turned out the problem was how I was responding to my difficult situation.
Peggy taught me a very important lesson, namely that we really cannot know the heart of another person. Only God knows their heart. And sometimes what people show the world is not what they are truly like inside.
SCRIPTURES
JOHN 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
MATTHEW 7:1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 2For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you measure, it shall be measured to you again.
MATTHEW 7:3 And why behold you the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? 4Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull the speck out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the speck out of your brother’s eye.
2 CHRONICLES 6:30 then hear from heaven Your dwelling place, and forgive, and give to everyone according to all his ways, whose heart You know (for You alone know the hearts of the sons of men),
1 SAMUEL 16:6 So it was, when they came, that he looked at Eliab and said, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him!” 7But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Author: Dana R
The Lord began drawing Dana to Him about six months before she was saved. By January of 2015, the urgency to make a decision about God was so strong, that it was all she could think about, but she was clueless how to even get saved. One day in her bedroom, she cried out to God telling him she really wanted to be saved, but she didn’t know how. Then she had the thought, maybe she could Google it. And that’s what she did. She found instructions on the Internet and said the Salvation prayer out loud.
In 2017 the Lord led her 600 miles away from her family, friends and home to a place she had never been and did not want to go – Missouri. Then in April of 2019 the Lord gave her a vision of a woman sitting at a desk, writing on paper. That’s when she knew He wanted her to write, but what on earth could she possibly write about? Then in July of 2020 the Lord gave her a vision of an eyebrow pencil outlining a woman’s eye. She interpreted that to mean “I OUTLINE”. And that is exactly what He did. And that’s how the Lord got her to pick up her pen.
E369 Heaven Land devotions – Whom Do YOU Resemble?
By Joanie Stahl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXpAGS1OpJU
A lot of women in high end business positions find it hard to be relatable and not cold and hard. As women it seems like we have to turn off that empathetic side of us to be successful in a cutthroat world.
I blame the culture.
Thank you Dana for this very important life lesson. If only we could apply the word of God in our every day situations.
Amen Joseph!
Dana,
Love your story. It reminds me about how the Lord uses the difficulties in our lives as opportunities for us to be changed. The work of transformation of the human soul is a lifelong process, otherwise the Lord would have taken us home at the moment of salvation. He changes his people not the world; and how kind he is to work in our hearts over years and decades.
God be praised!
Absolutely Aaron. My experience with “Peggy” was a great training ground for my outreach to the homeless. Marsha Burns put a word on her website on 8/22/2020 that I always go back to whenever I am going through hardships. She said “Know that when you are going through a rough patch it is for the purpose of learning something valuable about yourself as you relate and connect with Me (Jesus). Look for the silver lining in every dark cloud, and appreciate the opportunities you are given to grow and gain spiritual strength”. Word to live by in my humble opinion.
Thank you for this post Dana As I was reading through the conclusion and the supporting verses, you gave confirmation of what the Lord had been saying to me the last few days. How timely.
I had been asking the Lord about which ministers to listen to, as some of them seem very genuine and love Him deeply, but then I would find out they hold on to some erroneous doctrine and it would break my heart. The Lord has been telling me that He looks at their hearts. Maybe I won’t find a preacher whom I completely agree with, because I don’t know everything yet either (pertaining to correct doctrine) and we christians are all a work in progress. None of us has “arrived”.
It’s hard to balance having proper discernment and not judging unrighteously. It is the Lord who gives correct assessments for each situation, and I concluded that unless I am the one in authority or unless I have love for the person, I must refrain from judging because I would probably make an unrighteous judgement of the person/situation.
Hi Janina, it helps to remember that we don’t go to church to get something but to worship the Lord. Only pastors who worship the Lord can remain faithful and bring His flock to do the same. God bless you and I hope you may find the place God wants you to be!
Thank you Deborah! You’re right. We gather together to worship the Lord together. It may be the “consumer” mindset that makes christians (including me) to judge preachers according to their “performance”. 🙂 Though it is important to discern as the Bereans did, we must also remember to do so with grace and love. God bless you!
That’s beautiful Dana. Thanks for posting that valuable lesson.
This is really lovely and a wonderful post to teach us something important.
I had one similar situation recently. At the barn where I keep my horse, there was a new woman one evening walking her horse. I said hi to her and she looked away. I asked her if she was a new boarder and she didn’t respond. She was frowning and I thought, “How unfriendly! I wish she hadn’t come here.” I decided to make one last try, and asked her horse’s name. Finally she responded and said something surprising, “This isn’t my horse.”
She began talking and it turned out that the horse had once been hers, but he had been sold. He was temporarily at our barn due to fires in the area. As she continued talking, she said that she missed her horse and had wanted to visit him, especially now because her husband had just died of brain cancer the week before, after a long and difficult struggle. She had really loved her husband and was grieving. She had found a stray cat that she was taking care of and this helped her, but her landlord had found out and taken the cat away. I realized I was looking at someone who had had everything important taken from her, even a stray cat that no one else but her wanted. Just like in your story, she was crying and so was I.
Thank you very much for your post. It is a great reminder that sometimes the coldest-seeming people are suffering the most inside, and have a heart just like we do. God bless you.
That’s a very powerful testimony Deborah. Because you showed that woman grace, it opened the door for her to share what she was experiencing and to offer comfort to her. That is what my experience with the “Peggy’s” of this world has shown me – to be kind regardless of what they say. You just never know what other people are going through.